Tuesday, February 3, 2015

friends, through it all.

throughout life we go through hardships. turmoil. uncertainty. having someone to walk with us through these tough times is important.

it's important to find a friend who you can be open & honest with. someone that you can be raw & genuine with. where there is no judgment. someone who can keep you accountable. this person would be your spouse. a close friend. I believe the accountability friend should be of the same sex {disregarding the spouse}.

in the past, my accountability was friends who I shared my sin to. who I shared my fears with. my dreams. my secrets. my hopes. my concerns. my happiness. my questions. knowing all the while that they were granting me grace. lifting me up. giving me forgiveness when needed. helping me. crying with me. laughing with me. encouraging me. praying for me. never judging. never condemning.

these friends weren't just what I like to call "fare weather friends". they weren't just there for me when I "needed" them. when I was going through a hardship. they were also there for me when I was happy & doing well. this is what made me feel safe. comfortable. find an accountability friend that will be happy with you & be sad with you. a true friend can share in your joy as much as they can share in your sadness.

it is so important for our walk with God to have friends that can come along side our life journey to cheer us on for greatness.

I'd like to make it clear that along with our accountability, we need to approach God first. the reality is, our friends & spouse may not have the right answer. or the best advice. after we have gone to Him, it is ok to call on a friend. we simply cannot let our friends or our spouse to be our Savior. we already have one. his name is JESUS.

here are a few reasons why it is important to have an accountability friend:

// our accountability keeps us in check. they can call on us & we can call on them. anytime. any place. they help keep boundaries that we have set. when tempted, you can call your friend to talk through the temptation. "girrrrrrl! I really want to eat that 3rd donut, help!" {1 corinthians 10:13 "but when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it."} you're not going through it alone!

// our accountability can pray with us. sometimes all it takes it to text my husband & ask him to pray. at the end of conversations with my accountability, we pray. this helps us bring back our focus to our relationship with Christ. it's easy to simply talk about the problem. or to gossip. but we have to bring it back to what does God have to say about it all? talking out the problem is very therapeutic but praying at the end in some ways solidifies that we want to involve Christ. {matthew 18:20 "for where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them."}

// our accountability can ask the hard questions. {with permission of course.} sometimes it's scary to answer the hard questions. but in answering comes enlightenment. awareness. freedom. can you say freedom!!! and ultimately healing. sometimes just by answering questions & speaking out loud I have had epiphany's about other issues in my life. {galatians 6:1 "...restore that person gently."} when asking questions it needs to be done with kindness & grace.

// our accountability wants to see us succeed. they encourage through bible verses. through prayer. through listening. they speak life over you. not death. {proverbs 17:17 "a friend loves at all times."} the heart of a true accountability friend is to see you do better. to see you acquire health. physically. mentally. emotionally. spiritually.

// our accountability will help us to mature in Christ. {proverbs 27:17 "as iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another."} we both grow into more mature Christ followers. better friends. stronger in our faith. if your friend is bringing you down & not helping you to mature, it's time to find a new accountability.

what are some reasons why you have accountability in your friends & spouse?


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